Thirty years ago:
When I was small I attended almost innumerable marriage receptions, thank to our huge family tree. For some marriages we had a blast as the invitation spanned for 3-4 days at a stretch. For others, it might be just an evening. This marriage I am talking about is my father's cousin sister's marriage. The bridegroom was almost 6 feet tall, lean, sharp nose and had a very good sense of humour. Over the years, he grew up to be one of my favourite uncles. He bought a house near ours. Whenever he was in any social functions, there was one thing for sure - people would gather around him for his witty comments and funny stories.
Over the years he had two daughters.
"A perfect gentleman", people commented about him.
Ten years ago:
His wife was detected of cancer.Breast cancer. Stage Two. Several trips to the best cancer institute of India were made. His life's savings were spent. There was the agony of seeing your wife go through chemotherapy in the hospital, while your little daughters would be left in your home with their grandparents. Life was tough; life was rude. People around were sympathetic. They came and consoled the shattered couples. But during his moments of loneliness, anger, disappointment, he found none beside him. He did not find anybody to hug and share the grief inside. He kept everything within himself. He had to put up a brave face and show fighting spirit. He had no other option.
Five years ago:
His wife dies. That day I happened to be in my home town. His two daughters crying; his old mother, mother-in-law inconsolable. People gathered in his house. He had none to open his heart to. The lone warrior lost the battle. The pain and shame of losing; the anger of being the object of sympathy by Tom, Dick and Harry; the grief of being even more lonely overwhelmed his thoughts.
Three years ago:
While his elder daughter was abroad, his younger daughter was detected of brain cancer. He was devastated. While you still can put up a brave fight against breast cancer, brain cancer doesn't give you any chance to bite back. He knew he will lose another battle and that too very soon. Same hospitals, same corridors, same doctors. But in his heart of hearts, he knew it was a matter of time as he helpless watched his daughter's health deteriorate from bad to worse.
Two years back:
Battle number two lost.
Two weeks back:
He remarries.
In a small town like ours I don't know how people will react. I don't know how his relatives, his daughter will react. Perhaps, not very warmly. If they all give him a cold shoulder, I will not be surprised. But don't we all have the right to live for ourselves too? Do we live only how the society wants us to live? Do we have to live only for others? I am not sure whether an unsaid boycott from the society will make him even more lonely. May be, and rightly so, he does not care about what other feel and do. He has the right to live, like everybody else. He has the right to lead a decent normal life, leave alone enjoying, and not frequent the corridors of the hospital; he has the right to breathe in fresh air and not the stale hospital air. There will be now some relations. There will be some memories that will haunt him and conversations with old acquaintances that may pull him down. Obviously, he cannot erase the years that he has lived through. All these thoughts must have crossed his mind. He knows the consequence of his action more than anybody else. He must have taken them into consideration. But he has had enough!
He deserves a second chance.
He deserves a better life.
He always deserved a better life.
When I was small I attended almost innumerable marriage receptions, thank to our huge family tree. For some marriages we had a blast as the invitation spanned for 3-4 days at a stretch. For others, it might be just an evening. This marriage I am talking about is my father's cousin sister's marriage. The bridegroom was almost 6 feet tall, lean, sharp nose and had a very good sense of humour. Over the years, he grew up to be one of my favourite uncles. He bought a house near ours. Whenever he was in any social functions, there was one thing for sure - people would gather around him for his witty comments and funny stories.
Over the years he had two daughters.
"A perfect gentleman", people commented about him.
Ten years ago:
His wife was detected of cancer.Breast cancer. Stage Two. Several trips to the best cancer institute of India were made. His life's savings were spent. There was the agony of seeing your wife go through chemotherapy in the hospital, while your little daughters would be left in your home with their grandparents. Life was tough; life was rude. People around were sympathetic. They came and consoled the shattered couples. But during his moments of loneliness, anger, disappointment, he found none beside him. He did not find anybody to hug and share the grief inside. He kept everything within himself. He had to put up a brave face and show fighting spirit. He had no other option.
Five years ago:
His wife dies. That day I happened to be in my home town. His two daughters crying; his old mother, mother-in-law inconsolable. People gathered in his house. He had none to open his heart to. The lone warrior lost the battle. The pain and shame of losing; the anger of being the object of sympathy by Tom, Dick and Harry; the grief of being even more lonely overwhelmed his thoughts.
Three years ago:
While his elder daughter was abroad, his younger daughter was detected of brain cancer. He was devastated. While you still can put up a brave fight against breast cancer, brain cancer doesn't give you any chance to bite back. He knew he will lose another battle and that too very soon. Same hospitals, same corridors, same doctors. But in his heart of hearts, he knew it was a matter of time as he helpless watched his daughter's health deteriorate from bad to worse.
Two years back:
Battle number two lost.
Two weeks back:
He remarries.
In a small town like ours I don't know how people will react. I don't know how his relatives, his daughter will react. Perhaps, not very warmly. If they all give him a cold shoulder, I will not be surprised. But don't we all have the right to live for ourselves too? Do we live only how the society wants us to live? Do we have to live only for others? I am not sure whether an unsaid boycott from the society will make him even more lonely. May be, and rightly so, he does not care about what other feel and do. He has the right to live, like everybody else. He has the right to lead a decent normal life, leave alone enjoying, and not frequent the corridors of the hospital; he has the right to breathe in fresh air and not the stale hospital air. There will be now some relations. There will be some memories that will haunt him and conversations with old acquaintances that may pull him down. Obviously, he cannot erase the years that he has lived through. All these thoughts must have crossed his mind. He knows the consequence of his action more than anybody else. He must have taken them into consideration. But he has had enough!
He deserves a second chance.
He deserves a better life.
He always deserved a better life.
1 comment:
Well, I am not sure if you are advocating his re-marrying, his sort of non-conformity with his gruesome life. We all have choices and we all have but a life to live. So, unless we bring harm to anybody else, we should all have the liberty to go by our faith and whims.
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