Last January when I heard that my father was detected with the last stage of cancer, I was deeply pained. I knew he had only a handful of days to live and spend time with us. His clock has started ticking. I saw him alive in front of him and knew these moments will soon be memories. And with time these memories will only get added to the bountiful of memories I have with him - childhood memories, childish memories; Memories of affection, memories of argument; Memories of words of wisdom, memories of silence....endless memories....
Over the last few years, since the time I came to Bangalore, we met twice or thrice a year. It was either when I went to my native or he came down to Bangalore. Rest was over the phone - be it the annual birthday or marriage anniversary wishes, good news or bad news. It is one thing to know that your dad is there and he is only a phone call away. And its a completely different thing to know he will NEVER be around you for the rest of your life. I was preparing myself mentally about how to cope when the inevitable knocks the door. I convinced myself and to all around me that death is the only natural and obvious thing in each of our lives.You can be poor or rich, lettered or not, fair or dark. But what you cannot is escape death. "Either you see somebody die or somebody sees you die. If you die earlier than one person that does not mean he or she will not die!"
Treatment in Bangalore followed soon after. Hospitals, doctors, medical tests...Sometimes the treatment took a positive turn, sometimes not-so-positive. But we could sense the end of the journey is not far. We were prolonging the journey with medication. Its like in a stormy night you know the old tiny hut will fall apart any time, but you still hope for a miracle - a hope against hope! You hear the wind howling through the window creeks and rattling the feeble doors. Deep inside you feel the tremor when the thunder rumbles and the rains lashes the thatched roof of the old hut. You know its a matter of time you have to give in to Nature. The pain killers were only camouflaging the real disease, which were gradually taking control of his vital organs - one by one. We were painting the house, hoping it will stand tall for a few more years. But the truth is, the foundation has been badly hit and the structure is very shaky. It will crumble down any time.
And, ultimately, it did on the 25th of October.
It is the law of Nature that for any race - be it human or animal - the tired legs pass on the baton to the energetic legs and young blood and retire physically. I feel the person still lives through the baton. The words of wisdom my father learnt from his father and elders were passed on to us, after he chiseled them.. Through me - my thoughts, my words, my actions, my deeds, - my ancestors are alive, in some form or the other. And through all of us flows the blood and spirit of the most ancient civilizations of the world. As individuals,we are mere torch bearers, who have come to this world to perform certain duties. Once we are done, we leave the stage silently and let the spotlight focus on someone else. After all, the must show go on. The civilisations and the human race continues to march ahead, leaving only the tired physical body behind. The light that is within us never fades or dies. Like the twinkling stars on the dark sky, like the tiny water droplets in the ocean, the glow may seem negligible, but not insignificant. It is the conglomerate of such billions of glows over thousands of centuries which has formed what we refer to as human race or human civilization.
May my father's soul rest in peace and may the light within him continue to enlighten us!
Over the last few years, since the time I came to Bangalore, we met twice or thrice a year. It was either when I went to my native or he came down to Bangalore. Rest was over the phone - be it the annual birthday or marriage anniversary wishes, good news or bad news. It is one thing to know that your dad is there and he is only a phone call away. And its a completely different thing to know he will NEVER be around you for the rest of your life. I was preparing myself mentally about how to cope when the inevitable knocks the door. I convinced myself and to all around me that death is the only natural and obvious thing in each of our lives.You can be poor or rich, lettered or not, fair or dark. But what you cannot is escape death. "Either you see somebody die or somebody sees you die. If you die earlier than one person that does not mean he or she will not die!"
Treatment in Bangalore followed soon after. Hospitals, doctors, medical tests...Sometimes the treatment took a positive turn, sometimes not-so-positive. But we could sense the end of the journey is not far. We were prolonging the journey with medication. Its like in a stormy night you know the old tiny hut will fall apart any time, but you still hope for a miracle - a hope against hope! You hear the wind howling through the window creeks and rattling the feeble doors. Deep inside you feel the tremor when the thunder rumbles and the rains lashes the thatched roof of the old hut. You know its a matter of time you have to give in to Nature. The pain killers were only camouflaging the real disease, which were gradually taking control of his vital organs - one by one. We were painting the house, hoping it will stand tall for a few more years. But the truth is, the foundation has been badly hit and the structure is very shaky. It will crumble down any time.
And, ultimately, it did on the 25th of October.
It is the law of Nature that for any race - be it human or animal - the tired legs pass on the baton to the energetic legs and young blood and retire physically. I feel the person still lives through the baton. The words of wisdom my father learnt from his father and elders were passed on to us, after he chiseled them.. Through me - my thoughts, my words, my actions, my deeds, - my ancestors are alive, in some form or the other. And through all of us flows the blood and spirit of the most ancient civilizations of the world. As individuals,we are mere torch bearers, who have come to this world to perform certain duties. Once we are done, we leave the stage silently and let the spotlight focus on someone else. After all, the must show go on. The civilisations and the human race continues to march ahead, leaving only the tired physical body behind. The light that is within us never fades or dies. Like the twinkling stars on the dark sky, like the tiny water droplets in the ocean, the glow may seem negligible, but not insignificant. It is the conglomerate of such billions of glows over thousands of centuries which has formed what we refer to as human race or human civilization.
May my father's soul rest in peace and may the light within him continue to enlighten us!
