Life is not a bed of roses; the world is not a fairyland! We all know that. We have fought the tough times, battled the hardships...the struggle continues. Every single day. This is not only true for humans, but everyone in the animal kingdom. The King of the jungle, the Lions of Africa, have to hunt preys and walk upto the waterbody till the last day of their life. Others in the animal kingdom follow no different rule. The buffaloes, the crocodiles,the eagles, the deer, the rabbits, the rats, the ants...you name it - its always the story of fighting against all odds to live another day on this earth. In short, every single moment of life, be it of humans or otherwise, involves the struggle for existence and survival of the fittest! It is natural.
And yet, when it comes to raising our children, whom we love and care more than any other person in the world, we make the gross mistake by tending to keep them in golden cages. The golden cage that we build around them is nothing but a make-believe world which makes them devoid of any skills on how to tackle the real problems in life.We try to keep them away from all the pains and sorrows of life. We provide them with the best of facilities within our limits. We give them an impression that life and world have all the good things one can possibly think of. And we have a simple answer to this "We dont want the kids to go through the hardships we have gone through". While it is natural for parents to pass on the fruits of hardship to their offsprings, it is even more important for them to introduce them to the real world and the true facts of life and make them aware of those hardships. Falling down can be painful. But thats that's the only way one can learn to walk, to run, to cycle...One day that walk, that run, that cycling will bring abundance of joy to the children. By not exposing our children to the harsh conditions, we are making them handicapped. We are giving them silver spoons, but not teaching them how to use them to eat food from the plate, leave alone finding food for themselves. Imagine a tiger who always hunted preys for her cubs, fed them and did not teach them on how to hunt one. When the cubs grow into tigers, will they be able to survive in wild wild jungle for long? I presume one day they will blame their mother for not teaching them the fundamentals of survival. While this passing of batons and teaching the tricks of the trade come so natuaral to animals, we humans often take a more soft route. We keep protecting them, until we dont have any other option but to set them free. But, alas! That might be too late! The rude shock of getting to the know the hard realities beyond the golden cage can be dreadful.
There is a climber plant that my wife planted in one corner of our garden a couple of years back. When it was very small, she put a small stick beside it and tied the climber to it.Soon the climber "grabbed" the support and started growing. Now it does not need the support of the stick. It has clung to the wall of our home and there is no stopping to the growth. White flowers blooming amidst the green leaves have added to the beauty of our home. I feel parents should be like the support to the climbers. It would guide the climber to the right direction. After all, at the end of the day, the climber should live all by itself. Let the children enjoy the free air and explore life and world in their own way, not always bounded by the rules and regulations. A fall here and a fall there will make the journey more fun. A golden cage will definitely not. Parents can be the safety-nets. They definitely cannot be the fence around the plants. You can build fence around small plants. But what happens when it grows to a tree? You cannot build a fence around the entire tree!
Sometimes by bestowing excessive love for our kids, we are actually doing more harm than good. Animals teach their offsprings on how to hunt from a very small age. Tigers encourage their cubs to chase the weakest deer and hunt on their own. We humans are far more protective than the other members in the animal kingdom. We hesitate to expose them to the unkind world, delay the process, when the truth is, sooner or later they will find out the reality. True, we should protect them from vulnerable situations, but not shield from that. When its raining heavily we can ask them to take shelter, but no harm in getting occasionally drenched in the drizzle. That way they can test the waters and not be caught unawares when the sea is rough, dark clouds hover overhead and its pouring. They should know when to bring out the raincoat or umbrella and when to run for shelter. They also should know, sunny days and rainy days go hand-in-hand.
One of my favourite lines is "Only the test of fire makes fine steel" by Abraham Lincoln. There is no point in shielding our children from the fire.Instead, we should teach them on how to handle it and make the most out of it.
Doesn't the same apply to the world and life, as well?
And yet, when it comes to raising our children, whom we love and care more than any other person in the world, we make the gross mistake by tending to keep them in golden cages. The golden cage that we build around them is nothing but a make-believe world which makes them devoid of any skills on how to tackle the real problems in life.We try to keep them away from all the pains and sorrows of life. We provide them with the best of facilities within our limits. We give them an impression that life and world have all the good things one can possibly think of. And we have a simple answer to this "We dont want the kids to go through the hardships we have gone through". While it is natural for parents to pass on the fruits of hardship to their offsprings, it is even more important for them to introduce them to the real world and the true facts of life and make them aware of those hardships. Falling down can be painful. But thats that's the only way one can learn to walk, to run, to cycle...One day that walk, that run, that cycling will bring abundance of joy to the children. By not exposing our children to the harsh conditions, we are making them handicapped. We are giving them silver spoons, but not teaching them how to use them to eat food from the plate, leave alone finding food for themselves. Imagine a tiger who always hunted preys for her cubs, fed them and did not teach them on how to hunt one. When the cubs grow into tigers, will they be able to survive in wild wild jungle for long? I presume one day they will blame their mother for not teaching them the fundamentals of survival. While this passing of batons and teaching the tricks of the trade come so natuaral to animals, we humans often take a more soft route. We keep protecting them, until we dont have any other option but to set them free. But, alas! That might be too late! The rude shock of getting to the know the hard realities beyond the golden cage can be dreadful.
There is a climber plant that my wife planted in one corner of our garden a couple of years back. When it was very small, she put a small stick beside it and tied the climber to it.Soon the climber "grabbed" the support and started growing. Now it does not need the support of the stick. It has clung to the wall of our home and there is no stopping to the growth. White flowers blooming amidst the green leaves have added to the beauty of our home. I feel parents should be like the support to the climbers. It would guide the climber to the right direction. After all, at the end of the day, the climber should live all by itself. Let the children enjoy the free air and explore life and world in their own way, not always bounded by the rules and regulations. A fall here and a fall there will make the journey more fun. A golden cage will definitely not. Parents can be the safety-nets. They definitely cannot be the fence around the plants. You can build fence around small plants. But what happens when it grows to a tree? You cannot build a fence around the entire tree!
Sometimes by bestowing excessive love for our kids, we are actually doing more harm than good. Animals teach their offsprings on how to hunt from a very small age. Tigers encourage their cubs to chase the weakest deer and hunt on their own. We humans are far more protective than the other members in the animal kingdom. We hesitate to expose them to the unkind world, delay the process, when the truth is, sooner or later they will find out the reality. True, we should protect them from vulnerable situations, but not shield from that. When its raining heavily we can ask them to take shelter, but no harm in getting occasionally drenched in the drizzle. That way they can test the waters and not be caught unawares when the sea is rough, dark clouds hover overhead and its pouring. They should know when to bring out the raincoat or umbrella and when to run for shelter. They also should know, sunny days and rainy days go hand-in-hand.
One of my favourite lines is "Only the test of fire makes fine steel" by Abraham Lincoln. There is no point in shielding our children from the fire.Instead, we should teach them on how to handle it and make the most out of it.
Doesn't the same apply to the world and life, as well?
