My thoughts are my own. They evolve in the some of the deepest part of the brain, based on what my eyes and ears in particular convey to my brain. The neurons with some unknown chemical reaction generate the thoughts. They may be biased, may be screwed, may be simple or complex...but they are mine. Sharing them with others may prove a futile effort as the chemical reactions in everyone's brain is different from the other. People may not share my views; they may be insensitive to my thoughts and views. That will hurt me.
I talk with my thoughts. They mature with time. They evolve...they change. In the darkest hour, they are my only companion. When the whole world sleeps, they appear in front of me - making me smile, making me sad, making me anxious, depressed or happy. Last night some thoughts made me sad. It is a deep pain that I have learnt to live with and not share with anybody else. With those thoughts in mind, I dont know when I fell asleep; those thoughts appeared in my dreams, talked to me and disappeared when I woke up today morning.
My thoughts, my opinion, my dreams are mine. Just like you cork the bottle that has camphor; just like you lock the chest full of precious things, I have put a lid to them. I dont want people to know how they feel, look or smell. I have learnt to live alone in an over-crowded world.
Yes, I am a loner. I was a loner and perhaps will remain a loner. Perhaps, all of us are or at least most of us are - at times truly and deeply immersed in our own thoughts. Its not selfishness. Its spending time with the one who is with you from the time you are born to the time you breathe your last - the inner soul. It is about connecting the logical and analytical brain with the most-of-the-time-neglected-and-ignored soul inside. It is the bonding between between the physical and spiritual world.
My thoughts remain with me. My soul is the sole custodian of those thoughts. I camouflage them for the most part of the day. But occasionally they do surface from deep down somewhere, provoking me to think and reflect. I get lost in them. In one moment, some thoughts make me deeply depressed, the next moment some colourful dreams bring smile to my face. The hide-and-seek continues within.
On the surface, nothing much changes overnight.My thoughts and my dreams are my own and they remain deep within me!
It is only over the years that the person changes....
