We are programmed to try our best to win in every sphere, wherever we compete, wherever we participate. As a child it starts from a very early stage. The instinct is given its tooth and claw in school days. After that there is no letting it up. From the urge to win, generates another intuitive feeling - the urge to compare. "Where do I stand vis-a-vis others in the field?". And from comparison comes jealousy and jealousy leads to mental unrest...Life becomes a bag of baggage! Our life is no longer determined and controlled by our wishes and desires, but by the urge to "overtake" others. Our happiness is not measured in any absolute scale, but relative to the happiness of friends, neighbours and relatives. Lets take a step back to analysis this social epidemic.
The instinct to win and beat others in the competition have been imbibed in humans, like many other things, when we used to live in caves and hunt animals for survival. The limited supply of food and other resources then were the primary driving factors to instigate us to win each time, surpassing our fellow-members. In today's world, its not that resources are in abundance, but surely enough for all of us if managed properly. Kids and their parents think that becoming one of the toppers in the class means a great step ahead towards a bright future. Kids are taught how not to share their winning formulas with their classmates. They are groomed to win. Have we ever thought that thousands of schools running tons of classes and in that one class a topper is just better that , say, 40 or 50 students? Once the floodgates open and the students become adults and compete with adults across the geo-political boundaries what happens to them? Once they are out of their silos into the vast ocean, is winnability the only weapon that they have to stay afloat? In other words, is winnability the only virtue we have been able to teach them when they are in the race? More often than not, in the vast ocean, there is no one race. There are races - races for a better job, better salary, better villas, better lifestyle, better gadgets...the list is endless. Have we taught our kids how to react when they dont win? Have we taught them that it is simply not possible to win each time? Have we taught them to enjoy the race and not feel depressed if someone else takes the winning trophy? Have we taught them that winning is not everything? And then...who said that it was a race? All the students with whom I was "rat racing" in early school days have found a place for themselves in this vast world. We all will. Sadly, what we all lost is a stronger bonding and an even more memorable school days. The last thing that we needed in our lives in early childhood was that race, when it was just a part of the journey of growing up.
Everyone of us is on a journey that we can and should call "our own". Every journey has highs and lows. To compare my journey with yours, these days aptly supported by the feel-good Facebook photos and status, is nothing but foolishness. Nobody puts up a sad face in FB, people hardly update their FB status about problems they are facing in life. That doesn't mean the "happiness index" has shot through the roof in the last few years.
Following years of evolution and hard work we are at a place today where there is a place for everybody to live in harmony. But if we still think like the early men and keep comparing, we have just gone backwards a few thousand years or more. We should live our life the way it would have liked to live. If we change the course of our journey under the influence of others, then it would never be our journey, but a conglomeration of bits and pieces of several journeys. It would be a collage of journeys of friends, relatives and neighbors, except ours. And, at the end of your life, you would realise, everybody had a journey, only you didn't have! All the years you monitored and aped others journey and in the whole process, failed to give your journey a thought, a shape and , above all, a life!
Put in different words, you would realise your life never got a shape, never been given an independent thought and ,above all, was never a journey. You ran all your life and never took notice of the beautiful surroundings, the forests that passed by, the snow-capped distant hills, the sunset behind the tall trees, the moonlit nights....You just ran, thinking the fellow-runners are your competitors, never realising they were there to provide you the company.You just ran, thinking it to be a racing track, never realising, it is the greatest journey, that each and every one of us is gifted with!
The instinct to win and beat others in the competition have been imbibed in humans, like many other things, when we used to live in caves and hunt animals for survival. The limited supply of food and other resources then were the primary driving factors to instigate us to win each time, surpassing our fellow-members. In today's world, its not that resources are in abundance, but surely enough for all of us if managed properly. Kids and their parents think that becoming one of the toppers in the class means a great step ahead towards a bright future. Kids are taught how not to share their winning formulas with their classmates. They are groomed to win. Have we ever thought that thousands of schools running tons of classes and in that one class a topper is just better that , say, 40 or 50 students? Once the floodgates open and the students become adults and compete with adults across the geo-political boundaries what happens to them? Once they are out of their silos into the vast ocean, is winnability the only weapon that they have to stay afloat? In other words, is winnability the only virtue we have been able to teach them when they are in the race? More often than not, in the vast ocean, there is no one race. There are races - races for a better job, better salary, better villas, better lifestyle, better gadgets...the list is endless. Have we taught our kids how to react when they dont win? Have we taught them that it is simply not possible to win each time? Have we taught them to enjoy the race and not feel depressed if someone else takes the winning trophy? Have we taught them that winning is not everything? And then...who said that it was a race? All the students with whom I was "rat racing" in early school days have found a place for themselves in this vast world. We all will. Sadly, what we all lost is a stronger bonding and an even more memorable school days. The last thing that we needed in our lives in early childhood was that race, when it was just a part of the journey of growing up.
Everyone of us is on a journey that we can and should call "our own". Every journey has highs and lows. To compare my journey with yours, these days aptly supported by the feel-good Facebook photos and status, is nothing but foolishness. Nobody puts up a sad face in FB, people hardly update their FB status about problems they are facing in life. That doesn't mean the "happiness index" has shot through the roof in the last few years.
Following years of evolution and hard work we are at a place today where there is a place for everybody to live in harmony. But if we still think like the early men and keep comparing, we have just gone backwards a few thousand years or more. We should live our life the way it would have liked to live. If we change the course of our journey under the influence of others, then it would never be our journey, but a conglomeration of bits and pieces of several journeys. It would be a collage of journeys of friends, relatives and neighbors, except ours. And, at the end of your life, you would realise, everybody had a journey, only you didn't have! All the years you monitored and aped others journey and in the whole process, failed to give your journey a thought, a shape and , above all, a life!
Put in different words, you would realise your life never got a shape, never been given an independent thought and ,above all, was never a journey. You ran all your life and never took notice of the beautiful surroundings, the forests that passed by, the snow-capped distant hills, the sunset behind the tall trees, the moonlit nights....You just ran, thinking the fellow-runners are your competitors, never realising they were there to provide you the company.You just ran, thinking it to be a racing track, never realising, it is the greatest journey, that each and every one of us is gifted with!
